History is personal

I did it after 3 years.

I stood in front of a crowd, in front of students and colleagues 

And I talked about my love for History:

• On how I became a Historian,

• How dad’s stories shaped my studies ever since I was a kid.

• How mom, grandma and my aunts introduced me to oral history without knowing.

I grew up listening to the stories of the war, of the Lebanese wars (1975-1990).

I am shaped by them just like my dad and my mom. They played a role. They fought, they resisted for us to live free. 

Dad was even wounded in action. 

I became a historian because of dad’s stories cueing in superheroes from our childhood books: the ninja turtles and Tintin. It was always about how the few resisted the many. How the few steadfast in their faith were defending Lebanon against “those who wanted to take Lebanon from us”. 

It was my first introduction to oral history. 

I found it fascinating. 

Sometimes when grandma would pass by and hear dad’s stories she would shake her head, and lament in her Aleppo Arabic accent:

“Oh no. The Kataeb (Lebanese resistance group) messed my son (dad) up. My son (Ibni) never cursed.”

That was my second introduction to oral history and the first to the history of the Lebanese war. I didn't understand grandma. Why was she against a group that gave so much to Lebanon? It kept me wondering for decades. 

Later, in grad school and while conducting field work I discovered oral history as a genre along with history of emotions. The subfields of History encourage through their methods to challenge official narratives and bring to the fore stories of marginalized groups who may have a different perception of events. 

Whether they're Soviet moms, French, American they're all united in their plight and their hatred of war: war snatches their son from them. Boys become unrecognizable men. And in war, moms cannot protect their sons from the violence of the front line and the enemy's wrath. 

So I look at my graduate studies as this logical process after years of listening to stories from dad, my aunts and my mom. 

I would scribble, take notes in my notebook and tuck them away.  

For too long I didn't make any thing of it. Because I didn't think this was a history. Because History is usually a fight of many narratives. Politicians bring it down to two. There’s a winner and loser. But when I sat with my grandma, dad and his friends I unearthed a different angle. And this angle, me listening to others and jotting down notes, is what Oral History is all about.

Alessandro Portelli, the father of modern oral history, says in his book:

“ The most common narrative of this kind, of course, is the war narrative […] War embodies history in the most obvious schoolbook (…) having been in the war is the most tangible claim for having been in history”.

Alessandro Portelli, Oral History as Genre, in “ The Battle of Valle Giulia.

We grow up with the war narratives in Lebanon. We wrestle with them instead of facing them. We shrink them instead of giving a listening an ear to stories that may bother us, that will demistify our own mythologies or assumptions of the war.

The Lebanese wars (1975-1990) are their own kind of beast. And to tame it, you have to face it first, sit down, look at it in the eye, and let the multitude of voice come forward.

And usually it starts with the personal stories…

See you next time,

Your digger in chief.